Animalia: Chordata: Mamalia: Primates: Hominidae: Homo: H. Sapiens: Generation Y

Has anyone else noticed that the emergence of a new human sub-sub-species? Australia’s 60 minutes did a terrible job this weekend filling up a good 15 minute segment on a bunch of Gen Yers getting their comeuppance.

Seemingly the traditional media has been aware of them since the nineties but Gen Y has only more recently become the TradMed’s deformed shetland. For those unaware of the old deformed shetland analogy, it’s something like a archaic media meme. Far from mundane, the hideously deformed shetland, lovingly tended by its master, is regularly trotted out at parties to great fanfare and greeted with mild interest, at most,  from the gathered guests.  (apologies for that)

Generation Y is also one of those horrible neologistic word-plays like WAGS and muffin-topping.

Generation Y:Generation X   as  Heterosexual:Metrosexual

Handbag:Manbag   as   Panties:Manties

As I’m sure you can tell, I’m a little skeptical of the generation Y tag. Nonetheless it is important you know your stereotypes and in the vein of previous posts on know your pregnant checkout chick and know your local evangelical union member comes-

Know your Gen Yer?

1. Wikipedia (the source of Gen Y’s knowledge) states that Gen Y defines those born somewhere in the 80s or 90s.Except if you were born in one of the dozens of countries that was classified; underdeveloped, poor, wartorn or third-world at the time of your birth. Your stereotype is the aspirational hollywood star adoptee. Unhappy with that perception? Too bad, we’re all slaves to the media bother.
2. I was born in the 80s, so I too am a Y genner (I also never learnt grammar at school as the hippy teachers felt we’d pick it up naturally- ever tried to learn a foreign language without learning some “rote” grammar- pretty hard).
3. In 2005 USA Today exposed an average gen Y as  “young, smart, brash” even wearing “flip-flops to the office or listen[ing] to iPods at their desk”. They WILL sass you, overstimulate office podophiles and what’s worse, assume their love of portable music is in fact an expression of their own podophilia. Go on, google it, I forgive you.
4. Their parents are more likely to be divorced when compared with any other generation, though this is not important in explaining their faults, the INTERWEB and FaceSpace are the culprits!
5. GenY b usn txt speek al teh tym, rap myusk is mkng thm al ovr-sxual and vdeo gmes r mkin tehm vilont.
6. They are all Y despite the fact that two Xs gave birth to them. FORGET EVERYTHING YOU LEARNT ABOUT HUMAN REPRODUCTION!
7. They are financially dependant on their parents and do not know the “bad times” so spend it big today and suffer tomorrow. As 60 minutes Australia put it this weekend, “we will be dependant on them to pay for our pensions”. Lesson: Gen X is waaay too dependant on Gen Y.
8. Gen Y wants “cool jobs in media, entertainment or fashion” and will go on the dole before settling for some crap bar job (see 60 minutes expose).
9. OK, I lost interest with list, far too many pseudo-classifications of the archetypalal gen Yer that are appallingly overused in the print and television media.

BTW do check out the video “Reality Bites” on 60 minutes’ website. Its hilarious. I love the creepy music when they talk about the invisible job lines of the IT age, the animals that the prospective job applicants most identify with (dog, monkey, gorilla…) and the fact that the girl is amazed that after applying online for 10 jobs, she was “lucky” to receive a response from even 3 of them. You lazily apply for 10 jobs through what you call “a click of the button” and you’re surprised when you’re not flooded with eager job offers. Lady, get out of Adelaide. The tone of the piece is overly patronising but one of a million. Click on the story about British Lords while you’re there- classic!